Oh to be normal

I don't get excited over wedding stuff. Well, sometimes. But rarely. I just don't care. I don't even spend time thinking about what song I'll walk down the aisle to. It's never even crossed my mind that I should be contemplating what music we exit to.

What's wrong with me? Why don't I care that much? This is supposed to be the biggest day of my life to date and I just don't care about that stuff. It makes me feel somewhat inadequate as a woman that it doesn't matter to me. Everyone else is up in arms on HOW they will exit. I'd thought about just, ya know, walking down the aisle. That's what they do in the movies. Waving to people maybe, smiling.

Why do weddings have to be this big production that have to beat out everyone elses' wedding that you've ever been to? And then all this pressure builds up that I have to become this girly girl who cares about all that shit. I don't CARE what kind of shoes I will be wearing so long as they are comfortable. But now I feel like I should be worrying. And the jewelry. Why do I HAVE to wear earrings? I haven't worn any since the 3rd grade. It wouldn't be me. Even my mom things I'm being ridiculous.

I'm ready for it to be here and over to be honest.