Oh to be normal

I don't get excited over wedding stuff. Well, sometimes. But rarely. I just don't care. I don't even spend time thinking about what song I'll walk down the aisle to. It's never even crossed my mind that I should be contemplating what music we exit to.

What's wrong with me? Why don't I care that much? This is supposed to be the biggest day of my life to date and I just don't care about that stuff. It makes me feel somewhat inadequate as a woman that it doesn't matter to me. Everyone else is up in arms on HOW they will exit. I'd thought about just, ya know, walking down the aisle. That's what they do in the movies. Waving to people maybe, smiling.

Why do weddings have to be this big production that have to beat out everyone elses' wedding that you've ever been to? And then all this pressure builds up that I have to become this girly girl who cares about all that shit. I don't CARE what kind of shoes I will be wearing so long as they are comfortable. But now I feel like I should be worrying. And the jewelry. Why do I HAVE to wear earrings? I haven't worn any since the 3rd grade. It wouldn't be me. Even my mom things I'm being ridiculous.

I'm ready for it to be here and over to be honest.

Survival.

Humans have an amazing history of survival. That is one thing that keeps me going. No matter what gets thrown at us, we still keep on trucking. Ike's destruction not only to my state but to the entire continent is incredible.

Sort of puts everything in perspective. Weddings just don't seem that important anymore. But on the other hand, it keeps my mind off what has happened. We survived, my mother, brother and myself, with very, very minimal damage. I feel incredibly guilty for even getting the least bit upset our power is still off, for day number 5. There are people without homes. There are millions of other people without power as well. Who am I to complain?

I'll survive without power. Our ancestors did for thousands of years.

Birds.

I don't really like the idea of a "themed" wedding. Fairy tale, Disney, hearts, whatever. In fact, I hate it when people do that.

And here I am, using birds every chance I get. The Save the Date magnets have birds. The invitations have birds. The decorations are going to include birds. I even want a dove pendant from Tiffany's for the wedding. Mind you, I found it on some other site for $40 and I would never pay full price, but still, dove! Bird! Is this a theme? What constitutes a theme?

And will I look back on it in 15 years and go "Oh, how horrible was that?" Will my kids, God forbid I ever pop any out, laugh? Will I really even CARE if they do? Doubtful.

I love birds though. I just do. I love their grace and beauty, their freedom, their uniformity, their colors. And there so much damn bird crap out right now and it's all adorable.

Think I'll do it either way. Yeah, why not.